The frenzy of holiday shopping makes the season one of the most stressful times of the year, made all the more frantic by the prospect of buying or receiving bad gifts. Despite people’s best intentions, many gifts given during December through January tend to be relegated to the back of a closet or given away.
A recent study from Carnegie Mellon University’s Tepper School of Business undertook to find out why exactly people seem to be wired to give gifts others are not exactly happy about. Entitled, “Why Certain Gifts Are Great To Give But Not To Get,” the researchers say that one primary cause for terrible gift-giving is that people tend to think of the short-term rather than the long-term, NBC News reports.
Jeff Galak, co-author on the study, says,
When givers are choosing [what to buy], they’re often thinking about putting a big smile on the recipient’s face the moment they get the gift. [Buyers] think, ‘I want to make you happy right when you open the gift.
The need to fulfill this instant gratification results in presents that “are not necessarily what the recipient wants or needs,” Galak explains. “What people generally want, broadly, are gifts they will enjoy and use for a good duration of time.”
In addition, while gift-giving is meant to be a selfless gesture, the human ego can often get in the way. Nicole Coleman, an assistant professor of business administration at Pitt’s Joseph M. Katz Graduate School of Business, says that people often “want to choose gifts that reflect their relationship with the recipient, some specific knowledge that the giver has about the recipient, or other highly individual information about the recipient.”
This means a gift can be immediately exciting for the person receiving it, but it becomes more of a thrill for the giver, which is not the point of giving. Coleman adds, “The bottom line is: gift givers tend to overlook how the gift will be used, and rather focus on what the gift means/represents.”
People may also feel the need to “outdo” each other when it comes to gift-giving, Coleman says, and that hinders them from making the best choices. This kind of thinking generally leads to a waste of money.
What’s the simple solution to take the strain off gift-giving? Galak recommends simply asking the recipient what they would like. “We have this social norm that says asking means you’re not thoughtful. But actually, it’s the opposite. When people tell you what they want, everybody wins. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, ask a friend of the recipient.”
Otherwise, doing a bit of research on the person might also help a great deal. And if all else fails, there are always gift cards that allow recipients to buy whatever they want to – it may some off as impersonal for others, but it also means problem solved for both parties involved.
